The Slump. Or when all your s**t is broken.

"Ted Ladue" (ladue-it) 05/29/2014 at 11:40 • Filed to: None

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You might think that owning a slew of sub-$5000 cars is all shits and giggles. You might also assume that with a motto like "If it ain't broke, don't buy it" that I know what I'm doing. But that, friends, is where you are wrong.

The truth is that like everything in life, owning several cars has it highs and lows. On the far end of the highs is when everything it running right and you can pick and choose what you want to drive. Feel like a spritely drive through the mountains? Hop in the Miata. Feel like getting dirty? Hop in the 4Runner. Car show coming up? Take the Corona. That is the ultimate pay off and the reason for it all. And it happens about as often as often as you see a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

The other end of the spectrum sucks. It's that point where EVERYTHING needs something done to it. Want to enjoy the beautiful spring weather with the top down? Eh….not advisable. Want to go play in the mud? Well….not a good idea.

It's the Collectors Doldrums or the Tinkerers Funk or maybe just The Slump. Whatever it is, it sucks and it's where I am right now. Actually, when you are going low brow and cheap and are not exactly mechanically inclined, you end up here quite a lot.

I know. Cry me a freaking river, right? Poor ole guy can't drive all his shitty cars. Boo hoo. I hear ya. But in case you're wondering, here's what I'm looking at:

Miata: cooling fan not coming on - possible thermoswitch

4Runner: not charging - could be battery, faulty connection, or some other electrical gremlin

LandCruiser: needs tie-rod ends and brake caliber bolt

Corona: wheels were literally falling off the rims when it was cold. WTF.

Unimog: put that damn carb on, boy!

Boat: might need an alternator

Riding freaking lawn mower: tune up time!

Ugh. As you can see, it's nothing MAJOR on any or them, to be sure. But shit, it sure piles up to a lot. Working a 9-5 and being a rather terrible mechanic doesn't really help out much.

At times like this it is tempting to throw in the towel. Think of all the time and money it would free up. I could buy a simple boring reliable vehicle and have a fun reliable time doing exciting reliable things. Sure I couldn't likely go mudding, carve country roads and cruise in a classic all in the same day, but it sure would be enjoyable reliable.

I could sell them all….if only they were running.

XJDano > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 11:47

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im in same slump.

XJ needs brake work finished

Metro needs cat installed ( runs but cel on)

Gti steering rack installed

Gti engine bolted in wiring harness installed

R1 cutch issues

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 11:48

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'69-ish ChevyVan! NOOOOOOOOOOO

TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:06

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SRT-4 needs new timing belt and water pump

Jeep GC needs new ancillary belt and tie rods

Corolla 4WD needs new seals, new exhaust, new oil, new plugs...

Thinking about leasing a KIA Forte5. Cheap, and you can get the 5 speed on everything but the SX+ Lux package.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:07

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having a 4Runner and Land Crusier seems redundant. sell one and get all the others fixed.

WRX - needs a bath

Escape - needs oil change/ tire rotation

Mattbob > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:21

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Jeep: Needs new sway bar links, new track bar, and new u-joint up front.

e36: needs new flex coupler put on, wheel well liners put in, new diff front bushing, exhaust hangers, diff has seepage, needs a lot of work on the interior, and that is just off the top of my head.

Road bike: need to buy a new cassette and tires

Mountain bike: works perfect (fingers crossed)

I know that feeling, though I have slightly less things. The mountain of work is just a bit daunting.

Jedidiah > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:21

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72 Cutlass Supreme: Short in AC wiring, noisy alternator bearing, needs tune-up

72 Cutlass S: Total restoration

73 Delta 88: Needs new Convertible top, seat covers, torque converter

70 98: Heater core

75 Cutlass S: Needs new rear bumper after it got rear ended.

03 Jeep Rubicon #1: AC compressor is bad

03 Jeep Rubicon #2: Doesn't need anything atm

84 Yamaha XV1000: Doesn't want to go into neutral; need to get rid of awful forward controls

04 Crown Vic: Electrical weirdness going on. Needs belts/tune up

I feel your pain.

twochevrons > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:29

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Oh yes. I know this one well.

'56 MGA – entirely lacks roof or side windows, needs new fuel tank, wheels and tires, rear axle seals are shot.

'85 VW Scirocco – crud in fuel tank means that fuel filters last a matter of weeks, drippy injectors and a bad warmup regulator make both hot and cold starting a chore - it will only start well when slightly warm.

'96 VW Cabrio – intermittently stalls at idle, roof has giant holes in it, airbag light on, scary-looking A-pillar rust and windscreen crackage.

'96 Volvo 850R Wagon – just purchased, with a rear main seal leak, hot-starting issues, and likely many other faults.

'11 Golf 2.5 – not broken yet, but my wife bought it because she's fed up with driving cars with the problems above.

Any one of these, I'd gladly tackle, but the fact that none of them are quite right means that nothing gets done. Plus, 5 cars is really is a bit much for 2 people with a single-car garage. I really want to get rid of the Cabrio, but it is such a heap that I don't feel as though I could sell it in good conscience, and I'm too attached to it to just send it to the scrapper.

Ted Ladue > Mattbob 05/29/2014 at 12:39

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That's a good collection. I do, thankfully, have a street bicycle with no issues. For now.

Ted Ladue > TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! 05/29/2014 at 12:39

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Corolla 4WD! Awesome!

Ted Ladue > XJDano 05/29/2014 at 12:39

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#itgetsbetter (we need our own hash tag)

Ted Ladue > OPPOsaurus WRX 05/29/2014 at 12:42

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Agreed on the redundancy. The 4Runner is an 89 with a nice motor swap in it, so it's hard to get rid of. Considering swapping out the 80 and the one vehicle that works (a new Tacoma) for 2000-2006 Land Cruiser (100 series) or trading the Tacoma out for a Forester XT.

Ted Ladue > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 05/29/2014 at 12:42

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That is a photo I found on line. My yard isn't QUITE that bad. Or good?

Ted Ladue > Jedidiah 05/29/2014 at 12:43

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Oof! You're right there with me.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:44

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I'm just sad on its behalf, more so than the MG. It needs a rescue.

Jedidiah > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 12:53

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The good thing about owning a bunch of old shit is that you can use the one that is the least broken while you fix the others. At the end of the day, you will still enjoy each one of those old cars more than a Camry or Mazda 3 or whatever new reliable crap that people buy now.

Another great thing about owning old cars is that you can have one for each of your needs. Go look at your vehicles, they each excel at a particular function while a single, newer car would have a bunch of compromises.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Ted Ladue 05/29/2014 at 13:03

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Why trade away the pickup? it seems like it would have unique utility the others dont have with the bed.

Ted Ladue > OPPOsaurus WRX 05/29/2014 at 13:16

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Honestly, it's a good truck, but I can't handle the payment right now. Maybe if I had less cars, but like THAT'S gonna happen!

Ted Ladue > Jedidiah 05/30/2014 at 10:09

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totally agree! That's why I have the collection. No way you can do all I can do with only one car. Or two.

I love them all, so it's hard to consider getting rid of any of em!

Ted Ladue > twochevrons 05/30/2014 at 10:12

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Wow. You are one brave man, having so many VW's! I kid. That's a great collection. I'd probably tackle one fully then move onto the next.

I feel ya on the Cabrio. Sometimes a car is hard to dump because it's not worth much, but you still love it anyhow.

twochevrons > Ted Ladue 05/30/2014 at 10:31

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Heh, I married into them. My wife's family are die-hard VW folks, and my father-in-law only encourages my car-hoarding habits. I can't blame him completely, but I doubt that I'd have bought either the Scirocco or the 850R without him egging me on. Similarly, the MG has been in their family for years, and was passed on to me because I managed to coax it into life after having sat in a shed since the late '70s, so there's no way that I could sell that.

I'm really bad about getting sentimentally attached to cars. I almost cried when my parents told me (not that long ago) that the old Triumph 2500 that had been the family car for almost my entire life, and that I had learned to drive in, was terminally rusty, and headed to the scrapyard.

Stef Schrader > Ted Ladue 06/02/2014 at 01:16

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This slump. I know this slump. UGH.

Lulzcer: one wheel is bent/out of balance, all four struts need replacing, alignment is borked, brakes need bleeding, down-volume switch on the steering wheel sometimes turns on the stupid bluetooth system I NEVER EVEN USE, dents in the hood need popping out (car damaged while I was on vacation, zero notes were left, RAGE), CVT needs servicing soon, tires probably need replacing soon, too

944: the fuel filler neck is still leaking out both the vent hole and somewhere out the bottom (somehow?), the alternator wasn't charging the battery so I need to un-last-minute-fix my kill switch and replace it with a four-terminal one, the brake reservoir is somehow seeping fuel out the top, and I need to put the wires that go to the fans back on

...

ARRGH I JUST NEED TO BUY ANOTHER 944 TO GET ME PLACES WHILE I FIX MY RELIABLE CAR

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Ted Ladue 08/14/2014 at 02:26

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I missed this somehow. I know them feels.

Alfa 156: exhaust manifolds blowing and suspension bushes worn, have the parts but need to do the work

Jaguar XJ40 3.6: crushed by a tree, need to strip for parts

Fiat X1/9: same situation

BMW E36: coolant system empty, gearbox clunky, battery dead and interior mouldy

Triumph Spitfire: in pieces in the garage, needs tons doing

Lada Niva: front diff dead, need to swap

That's just my cars, there's my dad's too

Porsche 914/6: one carb idle jet not working, idle's on 5 cylinders, handbrake adjustment broken, rear springs sagged, boot needs painting

Maserati 228: slightly squashed by tree and a bit rusty, needs lots of work

MG TC: brakes stuck and just needs a drive really

It started as nothing major, but when I'm busy and my dad's got house work to do, it does pile up fast :S

Ted Ladue > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 08/14/2014 at 09:44

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Your family seems to have a bit of a tree problem, eh? That's quite a list!